If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Friday, August 31, 2007
i feel so dumb. i shouldnt have gone out with you again.. and let you hurt me once more.. :'(
i'm so angry an d upset with you. how can you jus leave me alone like this..
and i'm also very angry and upset with another person.. cause he broke his promise. again and again.. i donno how to trust you anymore.. very disappointed...
i'm back at my depression state again.. since ytd. and now i'm like some idiot crying.. cause i donno why my tears jus cant seems to stop rolling down..
do you know wad it feels like.. waking up from a dream which you were crying in there. and next thing you noe you are crying.. the whole day jus very depressed and cry. locking yrself at home and in the room most of the time. not even willingly to step out of hse. ran on the trackmil hoping to feel better but end up crying... i hate this feeling..
spell this A-S-S-H-O-L-E i'm not supposed to say this. but i jus cant help it.
sealed with a kiss
10:16 PM
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Tired... Over it...? Am i?
okay. finally! exams are over :)) rather tired. after the last paper.. me and sharon headed over to town :) haha. we went paragon to eat. took a long time to decide wad we wanna eat.. ended up at spageddies. nice nice. but we cld barely finish the food? when we were already sharing..
after that ming came to join us. as usual he was late.. from 7 to 8 then 8.30 then end up 9 plus goin to 10. tsk tsk tsk. and soon sharon left :(
yupp.. played pool at meridian again. with ming.. but didnt play for long. hang around meridian.. walking at the hotel level. then both of us sat down and chat and chill. haven done that for a long time.. nice one i guess/
around 11.30 i left there to go home and ming headed for mambo. didnt wanna go as i'm rather tired and doubt i'll be able to stay there for long too. yupp.
and teh kai wen you ps me..! :( lousy.........
okay. i'm very confused now. i really donno wad to do.... donno wad i wan. you're making me scare, confused and kinda upset. tell me tell me what to do.. cause i really donno wad to do. i'm numbed.
can i keep the secretto myself?
I'm over your lies, and I'm over your games. I'm over you asking me, when you know I'm not okay. You call me at night, and I pick up the phone. And though you've been telling me, I know you're not alone. oh..
That's why (your eyes) I'm over it (your smile) I'm over it (realize) I'm over it I'm over it I'm over..
Wanting you, to be wanting me. No that ain't no way to be. How I feel, read my lips, because I'm so over.. Moving on, it's my time, you never were a friend of mine. Hurt at first, a little bit, but now I'm so over. I'm so over it..
I'm over your hands, and I'm over your mouth. Trying to drag me down, and fill me with self-doubt. oh..
That's why, (your words) I'm over it (so sure) I'm over it (I'm not your girl) I'm over it
I'm over it I'm over...
Wanting you, to be wanting me. No that ain't no way to be. How I feel, read my lips, because I'm so over.. Moving on, it's my time, you never were a friend of mine. Hurt at first, a little bit, but now I'm so over. I'm so over it..
Don't call, don't come by, ain't no use, don't ask me why, you'll never change, there'll be no more crying in the rain.
Wanting you, to be wanting me. No that ain't no way to be. How I feel, read my lips, because I'm so over.. Moving on, it's my time, you never were a friend of mine. Hurt at first, a little bit, but now I'm so over. I'm so over it..
I'm so over it.... I'm over it....
Wanting you, to be wanting me. No that ain't no way to be. How I feel, read my lips, because I'm so over.. Moving on, it's my time, you never were a friend of mine. Hurt at first, a little bit, but now I'm so over. I'm so over it..
do go visit this website : http://ecarnival.livejournal.com you might find sth that catches yr attention. and some goji juice.. daddy is selling it now. and i'm helping him advertise. haha.
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HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEXTER :)) (bday on 24th august)
thanks for yr treat. haha..
tatas. nites. the phone jus keeps ringing.............
sealed with a kiss
1:14 AM
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
went town on mon after my paper :)) okay it was quite nice. met kai wen after so long..
haha. i was late. okay sorry :( but it wasnt really my fault.. cuz we cldnt make up our mind where to go. kai wen was supposed to meet me at yio chu kang.. then that ass was late! super late.. tsk tsk tsk. i stayed in sch and waited for an hr plus for him lucky nice dexter acc me.. end up we decided to meet at PS there.
we bought donuts :) it was kai wen's treat then sat at the food centre next to meridian. i bought 2 coconuts :)) my treat ate our donuts.. chill.. talked and crapped.. then he ordered summore food.
after that went to play pool.. was supposed to watch movie but in the end didnt cause we were lazy to walk back. left orchard at 11 plus..
hmmm.. overall it was quite nice.. i felt better i guess.. thanks for the company my dearest friend. :))
so yupp. met him ytd. it was kinda sweet of him to come over and bought food for me. i don really know why. but actually i do miss you. yet cant bring myself to tell you.
you've hurt me far more than you can imagine and it cant be erased within a day or two. i didnt change i never did.. is jus that we have drifted apart there's this gap between us which i cant explain. you know i put my whole heart in and gave off my very best for this relationship.. but the very fact that you cld jus deny it within a sec hurts me.
i guess we need time. i wont and cant blame you.. cuz it's never one person's fault and most importantly.. i'm never perfect. sorry.
but always remb. the memories we shared can never be erased. the love we had can never be replaced or taken away. you're always special to me.. and you're special in yr own ways. loves.
teh kai wen is an ass. pigg. wake up so late. i've known this friend of mine since sec 3? and thanks to this recent happenings that brought us closer and our friendship to a better state. and once again found my long lost friend :))
see... (i never really talk bad bout you k.! :p) hais. but i'm not gonna trust you anymore.. you belong to the bin :))
not forgetting sth that mummy told me. he will wait for me if he really loves me and wan me :) so yupp. oh man! i'm confused. :((((
anw. today i'm going out to study..! okay feeling so stressed. :(
it's been a boring day.. stressful and tiring. rather upset with some ppl..
i hate it when ppl break their promises. i hate it when you lie. i hate it when he calls and jus doesnt talk keeping me wonder wad is he calling for.
those calls jus upsets me even more. i've got too many things on my mind.. if you're very close to me and had been talking to me you will know. i'm troubled. confused.. upset.. stressed up. helpless......................
issit C H E R R Y. (only someone knows wad i'm talking bout) i'm not sure. too confused.. things are too complicated. can i jus run away? i wish i cld
sealed with a kiss
10:28 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINGYIU!
Okay.. it's ming's birthday.. time flies.. it's been 8 yrs since i know ming.. 8 yrs of friendship.. my best buddy. Wish you all the best in everything you do.. and yupp. And hope that the special person in yr life appears soon :))
hmmm.. feeling slightly better now i guess.. even though still quite depressed. but i'm trying hard..
and stupid kai wen made me angry today.. tell me go wad temple etc.. wad nonsense. then summore got drunk but quite funny.. and i wonder how did you climb over yr hse's gate... seriously.
okay and i accidentally cut myself today :( while cutting a pear la. so dumb. was bleeding and was damn scare.. cuz hand was trembling.. feel so useless.. don even know how to cut fruits. :((((( oh man.
i'm trying my best bye.
sealed with a kiss
12:08 AM
Friday, August 17, 2007
:( feeling rather emo, confused, sad, etc..
jus read mummy's blog jus now.. (for yr info mummy=germaine)
hmm.. i hope things will work out well for mummy and daddy. cuz i think they are a great pair.. and i believe they truly love each other. mummy daddy jia you! like how you ask me to.. remb yr daughter is always there for you.
hais. he's affecting me alot.. jus seeing his nick makes me sad.. i tell myself to relax and not to care.. but it jus seems so hard. it's really very hard to smile. not that i never try.. not that i don wan to..
my tears jus don seems to listen to my mind but it listens to my heart..
i jus cant seems to forget.. at least for now.. cuz wad we had gone through cant be erased jus like this.. those memories we share are held closely to my heart.. in my mind. exams are jus ard the corner i hope i can make it through.. but i'm thankful for the support i have received from my dearest friends. mummy, ming yiu, kai wen, jaslin, dom, adam, van, etc (sorry if i never name you, don mean that i don thank you k.. i do) thank you.
sealed with a kiss
12:09 AM
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Never let you go
i remb.. i didnt had that chance.. bye.
The rain, just never seems to bring the joy, I feel the same everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart, can't seem to learn to part the hold you left the mark all that I dreamed of now it seems so stark
Tho I told myself won't hold my breath a part of me was dying there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in
If you gave me, one chance to tell you how i was feeling I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you If you gave me, one chance to tell you how i was feeling I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and you know, l'd never let you go
The way, you left me on the train I don't know what to say I remember everything on that day
I can't believe we'd never dance I just need one more chance to share the sunset our one last romance
Tho I told myself won't hold my breath a part of me was dying there is nothing left for me to do now, but give in
If you gave me, one chance to tell you how i was feeling I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you If you gave me, one chance to tell you how i was feeling I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and you know, l'd never let you go
if you gave me, one chance to tell you how i was feeling I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you If you gave me, one chance to tell you how i was feeling I would hold your hand and look in your eyes and you know, l'd never let you go
sealed with a kiss
11:47 PM
will you wait for me
a beautiful song with beautiful meaning..
i guess it jus suits to my mood now.
LYRICS:
Gareth Gates - Will You Wait For Me
I need to talk with you again Why did you go away All that time together This feels like yesterday I never thought I'd see A single day without you The things we take for granted We can sometimes lose
And if I promise not to feel this pain Will I see you again? Will I see you again...
'Cause time will pass me by Maybe I'll never learn to smile But I know I'll make it through If you wait for me And all the tears I cry No matter how I try They'll never bring you home to me Won't you wait for me In heaven...
Do you remember how it was When we never seemed to care Days went by so quickly 'Cause I thought you'd always be there And it's hard to let you go Though I know that I must try I feel like I've been cheated 'Cause we never said goodbye
And if I promise not to feel this pain Will I see you again? Will I see you again...
'Cause time will pass me by Maybe I'll never learn to smile But I know I'll make it through If you wait for me (Won't you wait for me) And all the tears I cry No matter how I try They'll never bring you home to me Won't you wait for me In heaven...
'Cause I miss you so And I need to know Will you wait for me?
'Cause time will pass me by Maybe I'll never learn to smile But I know I'll make it through If you wait for me (Say you'll wait for me) And all the tears I cry (all the tears I cry) No matter how I try (how I try) They'll never bring you home to me Won't you wait for me
'Cause time will pass me by Maybe I'll never learn to smile But I know I'll make it through If you wait for me...
sealed with a kiss
3:13 PM
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
i haven blogged for a long time. too many things to blogged bout.. so much until i donno where to start with and wad to say.
alot of upsetting things. and alot to do with him..
i guess i never regret knowing you.. and i never regret loving you. even though i'm hurt. but i know the feeling is real. and i know it's hard to find someone who you truly love.. and i found it.. at least i guess i tried my best and i did cherish ever moment with you.. and most importantly you. but if you wanna blame everything on me i've got nothin to say. cuz it's jus so you.
i cried for a long time and cried many times. i was angry with myself.. cuz i felt so dumb.. not knowing wad to do. knowing how you treat me i still love you..still miss you.. love is really blind..
staying home jus makes me cry.. but going out to those places... reminding me of you, don seems to help much too..
pls tell me.. pls teach me how to forget.. cuz i really donno how to do it immediately. i'm learning and tryin very hard. i need time..
but wad you're doin is confusing me still callin and not talking.. checking on me.. i really donno wad to do already you jus making me cannot forget bout you..
and saying those hurting words to me.. once and again..
i'm tired of being hurt. sorry.
sealed with a kiss
5:28 PM
clarissawee.
o6o490 (:
fairsian. nanyang poly :)
I'm someone who is simply captivated by beautiful and pretty things..
Fascinated with all the sweet and wonderful things around me like chocolates and flowers..
I adore my friends and time spent with all my dearest..
I enjoy RETAIL THERAPY..
Wanting to live life to the fullest by enjoying every moment and experiencing the best..
This blog is a place where i pen down my thoughts and share about my daily lives and as time goes by it allows me to keep it as a memory.(: